Thanksgiving again! My signature event. This year was back down to one turkey from last year's two, but it was just as fun. Things seemed pretty easy-going as opposed to hectic, getting ready for dinner. This year, I tried something new with the turkey prep: I rubbed herbed butter under the skin on the breasts and thighs. This really helped with turning the skin golden each time I basted the bird. I'm going to do this again for a client next week who ordered a turkey.

I also made my own bread, continuing to practice a recipe from "The Bread Baker's Apprentice" by Peter Reinhart. I have been making the pain a l'ancienne that he loves so much. I'm thinking that the flavor is good, just a little too dense for me. It's possible that I'm not giving it enough time to warm up, or that I'm degassing it too much when I handle it. I've tried several different things now, but I think the next time I'm going to go back to his original method without any turn-and-folds. I'm going to let it really warm up before I bake it.

The thing that's different about this method is that he lets the dough rest overnight in the refrigerator after mixing it. He also doesn't really do any shaping or proofing other than cutting it into strips. I've tried doing it his way, I've also tried doing a number of turn-and-folds along with shaping it like a baguette. The best results so far were today when I did three turn-and-folds and shaped the dough like a baguette. Decent flavor, but it was still dense in the middle, not what I would expect from dough with such a high water content (75%). My ignorant suspicion is that the gluten isn't developed enough to hold the gas from the yeast which is why I've been doing the turn-and-folds lately. I'm going back to the beginning, however to see how that turns out since the first time I made this receipt I think my yeast was a little weak to make an adequate test.

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I met Michael Ruhlman today. He's an author who wrote several books about cooking which really inspired me when I was considering my career change, and his writings continue to motivate me today. His favorite book of mine is "Making of a Chef", but it was "Soul of a Chef" that I had mailed to him for his autograph. When I met him today he signed both books, which really meant a lot to me.

Ruhlman's philosophy about being a chef come from his time at the CIA as an "under cover" writer as well as the time he spent with Thomas Keller writing "The French Laundry Cook Book". Much of his first two books delve into what it means to be a chef (I haven't read "The French Laundry"). What he comes up with is this:

• Chefs get it done.
• Chefs have an exquisite attention to detail and quality.
• Chefs have something intrinsic in their personality, something that can't be learned.
• Cooking is a craft to be honed.
• Chefs love to satisfy people and make them happy.
• Chefs are more than cooks, they're leaders.

The quest for perfection is something that runs deeply through his analysis and opinions about professional cooking. Some chefs seek perfection for perfection's sake (I think Thomas Keller is one of these chefs), but Ruhlman doesn't quite go that far in his judgement. How much perfection is necessary? Enough that I'm happy with it? Enough that the client is happy with it? Often there's a huge gap between thoese two standards and this is a conundrum that I struggle with regularly. I would hate to say that I would be happy with a product less than my best, but at the same time, as long as the client is satisfied, more than that is just plain ego and a waste of time (i.e. not getting paid!). I haven't resolved this issue in any meaningful way yet.

During the open section of the Ruhlman lecture, one of the questions I wanted to ask but didn't get the chance was what his thoughts were on "time" versus "quality". From everything that I've been taught, read, and experienced there are two often contradictory aspects to being a chef: 1: Chefs aren't ever late. 2: Chefs don't serve anything less than their very best.

But what happens when one of those has to give? Which is better to sacrifice: Timely service or quality? One of the chefs on Top Chef (Howie) recently opted for sacrificing time instead of quality. This meant that during one of the challenges he chose not to serve anything at all. And he got loads of crap for this from the judges (including Anthony Bourdain and Tom Coliccio). Howie said that he didn't want to serve anything because he had crap ingredients to work for the challenge with and would not be able to make soemthing he would be proud to stand behind. I have to admire his resolve, even if it meant that he lost the challenge.

Personally, I think that it's better to make it right, even if it's a little late. I mean, as a guest in a restaurant I'd rather have great food a little late than average food right on time. But this is mitigated with the circumstances of service, too. At Starry Nights I'm not going to hold up a casual lunch buffet (for example) just because one element is a little less than perfectly seasoned. I'll do my best to fix it before it goes out (I'm not a hack!), but I'm not going to thow it all away and start over the way Thomas Keller might.

(One of Ruhlman's stories from his time at the French Laundry centers on Keller's "big pot blanching" technique, where you drop something into a gargantuan pot to be blanched so that you don't lose the boil. Apparently one of his cooks dropped in some fava beans and lost the boil. Keller made him throw out all the favas and start completely over. This seems utterly ridiculous and wasteful to me)

To me, however, the absolute most fundamental trait for a chef is discipline. Without this, you have nothing. All the standards in the world don't mean anything unless you have the discipline to stick to them. Running a kitchen is impossible unless you have the discipline to motivate your employees. Owning your own business will turn into a disaster unless you have the discipline to keep things orderly. You can't possibly be your best until you cultivate the discipline to follow through on your potential.

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Today marks three full years since I left my graphic design career. It seems so trite to say, but I can't believe the time flew so quickly.

In the last year, I've had many great accomplishments including:

• My first Gypsy dinner
• Made Starry Nights profitable
• Started doing wedding cakes on my own
• Hired another employee

I'm still really very happy doing what I'm doing, and I don't miss my former career. I do miss the pace of the office, meaning start late, regular cofee breaks, and going home early (at least that's how I remember it!). The pace of my life now is that I get up early, work all day, go home, and do more office work. But really, I love it. I have an irregular schedule, I'm in charge of the direction of the business, and for the most part, I get to do some really cool jobs.

I'm looking forward to the next year as a chef; I'm expecting to grow Starry Nights even more (more jobs per week, another employee) and maybe establish myself as a local chef by doing more classes at various locations, dinner events, donations, etc. I'm really loving all this!

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